Sexy: 5 Tactics: 0

To my mind, New Year celebrations could start if Barca won. Given there would only be one team playing , 1-0 would have done just fine. It was that just 18mins in when Iniesta divined how the RMA back four could be sliced up in front of him. Xavi, like in most occasions, was on the same wavelength and Saint Iker was picking up the ball from the net.

Jose's men still packed their own half and chased after the yellow ball. Problem: Like Joker, it was like a dog barking after a bone, it didn't know what to do when it did finally got it. Having expended a lot of energy to touch that yellow magic-crystal rolling all over the park, they simply stumbled on it - or put it out of play! Pretty soon though there was no other way for the Translator (yes, by now he must have wished to have his old job back) but to order his men to come out and play. Pedro got in front of his marker to slot home Villa's cross. For once, Carvalho keeping his hands folded behind him (to avoid the handball call) looked ridiculous - Villa had gotten a full yard in front of him to find the killer pass.

2-0 and the effects of the Pep tranquilizer appeared to be wearing away as RMA started playing a higher line - actually, they started playing and created a few chances. Christiano was anyway playing the ball out of play (which was pretty much the only thing he did all night), but on most occasions he would have gotten the penalty when Valdez made the contact. This, for Franco's men, will be the talking point regards this Clasico.

On restart though, whatever progress RMA had made toward playing & away from simply chasing, everything was back to square-one. How often have we seen Jose teams come back after the break with a couple of quick goals, prompting us to rave of his half-time talk and tactical acumen. Whatever he said last night, it put the RMA galacticos back into space limbo - some of them looked dazed, some confused and most picked up bookings for fun - pretty much the only thing resembling football they managed all night.

The front-page stars, Leo & Villa, combined a couple of times, a couple of goals, game over and it was back to tiki-taka - back to front, left to right, until RMA won the ball, gave it back within a couple of touches and some more tiki-taka. Pep was able to bring on Bojan and Jeffren, give Villa and Xavi the standing ovations they deserved. The subs combined for the fifth and Jeffren's first La-Liga goal comes against RMA!

Despite the great restraint of Mr. Gonzalez, Ramos had had enough with less than a minute to go. A couple of shoves and he was off the pitch, this time thankfully he didn't feel like shaking the referee's hand. In the fracas that errupted surrounding Ramos' dismissal, it Saint Iker's authority with players (most of them he captains for Spain) was plain to see. He ordered Busquets (brilliant game), and Pique to back off & the reprimanded men did exactly that.

Deliberately getting sent off to the real thing - for Spain's sake, I hope Ramos knows how to grow out of it. He is too important, too talented in the Spain setup to become the Jose hitman at RMA.

For the statistically inclined: Pep continue the perfect Clasico record, Leo hasn't scored against a Jose coached side, Christiano did the disappearing trick yet again, FCB controlled the ball for about 70% of the time, RMA put it out of play 70% of the time, blah blah blah.

But all I hope is that this 5-0 is an omen that in the holiday season and the new year, sexy will get the better of tactics. Well, I agree with The Boomtown Rats and don't like Mondays - but this one...